solipsistic drivelings.

B is for Beer by Tom Robbins
Format: Hardcover, 125 pages
Publisher: Harper Collins Publishers
ISBN: 978-0-06-168727-3
With Film Version? None
Number of Times Read: One and a half times.



...
Stare at the cover, then read the title.

A children's book, or a grown-up's?  No way am I gonna buy a kiddie book! I'm so over and done with those for like two days ago! (x [Please bear with me and my humor.;)]

The title is kinda kindergartney-alphabet-song but the word BEER is obviously for me (and so is it for you, cus you're a grown-up too!). Suddenly I'm curious about the cheapest liquor that made me dizzy on party nights. I scanned through the pages and "..beer's made outta hops.." caught my eye. The first thing that came up on my mind is San Miguel Beer's advertisement of their product being made out of floral hops. I've been thinking, but never got around to Googling how beer is associated with flowers, because it makes me wonder, I mean, there's nothing flowery to its taste or scent. More like cat's piss to me, if you ask. I'm not much of a beer fan, I actually prefer it's stronger counterparts. I only drink it because it gets me in an inebriated state every time and anytime I desperately need to, at a cheaper price. Funny how we always associate expensive with quality, but we all know that's wrong. But when it comes to alcohol, most of the time, the more expensive it is, the tastier. And more intoxicating.

So I am curious about beer, the cheapest alcohol, the yellow beverage I slugged on party nights and made me feel hungover on morning-after's. So I actually bought the book. And I have to admit, I did sure want to read about the adventurous kindergartner Gracie and why she's been dragged into the world of beer and floral hops that are not the least bit flowery..

Of course, since I am actually featuring it on my blog, you can already guess that B is for Beer is so applesauce for a kiddie book! :D I finished reading it in just one sitting since it's got only 125 pages. It is beery enlightening (excuse the pun!), thanks to the beer fairy, who showed herself to Gracie to teach her something about the substance she's dealing with. That's when the beer lecture began and in a simplified manner, it is explained how beer came to be, who invented it, how it's made, where it comes from, and the things it does to the human body. The last bit, we both know already (don't deny! you drink beer too, am i righttt?) but it is fascinating to read about the funny and crazy and barbaric and the seemingly brave stuff humans do when inebriated.

So, is this a children's book, or a grown-up's? The author Tom Robbins said he intended it for children but he hoped that many adults would read it. Really, the cover and the illustrations found inside are actually quite enticing to the kiddies, but I don't think a kindergartner would ever want to read this stuff, or if she ever would, what the beer fairy has to say would be gibberish to her six year-old mind. But I really do hope older kids, and, yeah even adults, would get around to reading this. We all need to know about the beer fairy's lecture about this substance, because if you would look at the news, thousands of people get killed due to vehicular accidents and a vast percentage would account to DUI cases. And if there's a celebrity who should spend a few dollars for this kid-dult book, Paris Hilton would be it. Perhaps if she reads B is for Beer, she'll behave more responsibly. (x But I do like her. Really..(;

Whatever, bitch. I think it's a lame publicity stunt.

In case you're wondering about the hops, yes, they are indeed floral-- dried hop flower pellets actually-- and it's what makes beer taste bitter. Don't get it wrong by thinking that beer is made outta hops. Hops is just one of the many ingredients of beer. And just in case you're wondering whatever happened to Gracie, why don't you read the book?

Testimony by Anita Shreve
Format: Mass Market Paperback, 352 pages
Publisher: Back Bay Books
ISBN: 9780316067348
With Film Version? None
Number of Times Read: Once.

I am a die-hard Anita Shreve fanatic.

Ever since I discovered Seaglass seven years ago, I've been craving for Shreve's novels. There's something unique about her writing, which sets her apart from the other authors. I'd like to think that it's because she tackles issues relevant to what is really happening nowadays. 

Testimony, which I purchased a month ago, is exactly what I'm talking about now. The issues tackled in the story are teenage sexuality, the deleterious effect of alcohol and the possible disasters that the Internet could incur-- specifically, circulating sex videos, which are, up to now, on the rage.

The story is an introspective look at a private school community blown apart by one scandalous incident. A video is posted online showing a sexual encounter between three male seniors and one female freshman. From the students themselves to their parents, and to the staff members of the school, the repercussions are lasting.

Teenage sexuality and the consequences of a single reckless act seem to be the themes of Testimony.
Teenagers are a mixture of raging hormones, limitless energy and physical activities. Add curiosity, peer pressure and even parental pressure to the equation and the kid explores uncharted territory: drugs, alcohol, and sex.  If they wanna experiment, they will. It will be a futile attempt to stop them. The rational thing to do now is to sit them down and have the TALK. I think sex, drugs and alcohol are a family matter, because these issues can never be tackled quite effectively within the four walls of a classroom.

I'll move on to the consequences of in-the-moment decisions, specifically, the single reckless act which caused such a turmoil in the story. Why did the teenagers do what they did in the video? Why did they let someone document what they were doing, and why did J. Dot post the video in YouTube? There is proof that the teenagers had been drinking before they did what they did. So alcohol could have been the trigger, right? But, through their attestations, clearly, they didn't know exactly why they did the act. Sure there are lots of contributing factors, but there is no concrete 'why'. Now, I'm, like, 'been there, done that.' There are times when I stop thinking and just start acting out. I am aware that it is something wrong, and that I shouldn't do it. But still, I go ahead and do it, irregardless of the guilt that's lurking on my mind, not thinking of the consequences, because, well, I simply stopped thinking.  After that, the regrets, the questions-- Was it worth it? Why did I even do it? In the case of the teenagers in the story: 'What will happen to me now?' 'What will my family/girlfriend say?' That's the saddest part I think. People stop thinking, becoming selfish, not caring if their actions would affect the lives of other people.

But life can not be undone. A single reckless act may result to dire consequences, but it doesn't necessarily have to ruin a person's life.

The character I had the most sympathy for is Noelle, the girlfriend of Silas (who is one of the teenagers involved in the scandal). I can't fathom how a guy can claim that he loves his girl so much, the next minute he's romping another girl live on a video. Really cruel. So callous. But as one of the characters would put it, there are opportunities-- once-in-a-lifetime opportunities-- that are hard to pass up. It might never happen again if he doesn't seize it. But I think a guy who already has an amazing girlfriend has no business with that kind of opportunity.

I like how the story is told in multiple voices. I always have this keen appreciation of stories told by narrators. Also, it is told in different points of view. I ask myself, Why is that? So I made a chart listing the different points of views of the various characters-- there are fifteen or so-- in the story, and I came to these:

♦ Most of the characters, including the four teenagers in the sex tape, and the girlfriend of one of the teenage boys, are narrating from the first person point of view, because they are the ones who suffer the most from the scandal. They need to express their emotions, need someone to talk to, and, in the case of the four teenagers, need to say something in their defense. I think their individual expressions would not have been effectively achieved if their version of events is told using the second or third person point of view. At the moment, they are self-centered, and rightfully so. Hence, the constant use of "I".

♦ The author used the third person on the characters-- the grown men-- who are unlikely to express their real emotions. The third person surely can not know what's inside their heart or mind, right?

♦ The only character who uses the second person is the mother of one of the teenage boys and, I think, that indicates that she can't accept, or refuses to accept that her son had done what he did. Hence, the constant use of the word "You" instead of "I'.

This approach of using multiple voices made it possible for the testimony of all the characters to be voiced out. A single narrator may not be privy to certain information that are critical to the story.

Most of Anita Shreve's novels depict human frailty and weakness-- uncontrollable lust, deception, violence, the easy giving-in-to-temptation. I love these themes. Okay, not the violence bit. I don't know exactly why I'm reading these kinds of stories. Maybe it's because of the fact that every one of Shreve's novels are national bestsellers and most are award winners.. Or maybe because reading these kinds of stories makes me feel that somehow I am not alone. I am not the only one doing this or that crime. I am not the only one feeling guilty for feeling this or that emotion. Yes, it is fiction, I know, but it is fiction based on reality. The things depicted in the book are real. The characters are not vampires or robots or talking fish. Neither are they depicted as unrealistic happily-ever-after stories. Reading her novels, it's like, 'OMG this happened to someone I know!'

Okay. So. How to end this? I am a very very big fan of Anita Shreve, and so far, Testimony is one of her best. I collect and have read all of her novels except for the latest one-- Rescue, which unfortunately is not yet available in the Philippines. Anyone who has a copy? I am willing to leap bounds and wash your dishes for a month if you can just give me a copy. (I don't want an ebook!) (;

More on Anita Shreve.

"A single action can cause a life to veer off in a direction it was never meant to go."

"And so a person can never promise to love someone forever, because you never know what might come up, what terrible thing the person you love might do."

"If one has a good reputation and trusted, the rules can be bent to accommodate."

"I guess that's the point of drinking, to take all the feelings, and thoughts and morals away until you are just a body doing what a body will do.."

Waking Lazarus by T. L. Hines
Format: Mass Market Paperback, 304 pages
Publisher: Bethany House
ISBN: 978-0-7642-0344-2
With Film Version? None
Number of Times Read: 3x

Thirty-four year old Jude Allman has cheated death three times. At age eight, he drowned; at age sixteen, he was hit by a lightning; and at twenty-four, he freezes to death in a snow storm. Jude becomes a paranoid recluse in Red Lodge, Montana, where he works under an assumed name as a school janitor. His son, Nathan, lives with his mother elsewhere in town. As a string of child abductions begin, Jude finds he possesses supernatural powers that allow him to see into the lives of others. When Nathan is kidnapped, Jude finds his purpose and his faith. But in doing so he must take some risks. His own life of dying must be faced and the life of his son may be in jeopardy.

Obviously, Waking Lazarus is a book marketed for a Christian audience. The recurring themes are of the mysteries of the death and resurrection of a man named Jude Allman. Reading the novel made me think of the questions I am forever asking: "How does it feel like to die?" "What happens after death?" "Will i meet the entity who created me?" "Or will I simply vanish forever?" If Jude Allman stands right in front of me now, I'd ask him these questions. I'd touch him, check if the flesh is really there. Like the mob who awaited him after his resurrections. He must have felt so confused. How he must have stifled a cry when that woman pulls a patch of hair off his scalp! What makes the woman do that? Is she thinking that perhaps she will find the answers to her questions if she could help herself of a part of Jude?

How we humans are so afraid of death. Or maybe not. Lately, I've been thinking that maybe, just maybe, death is not so much as fearful as what lies beyond it. Maybe we are more afraid of what happens to us after we die. After the body has decayed, what happens to the soul? Is there even a soul? I've been thinking too that maybe, without the idea of heaven and hell instilled inside our minds, we wouldn't be too concerned about dying, right?

OK, enough of death. It makes me feel depressed. But if there is anything much more depressing to me, it is the boring life of Jude Allman. He is clearly too paranoid-- accepting a lowly job, forgetting the reminders of his past, including his Dad, and he seems to have forgotten how good it is to love and feel loved. In his years as a recluse, he hasn't touched another human being-- he can't even touch his own son, though he badly wants to. The pace of his life, as well as the novel's, catches up though when Jude discovered his supernatural powers, and that he could be holding the key to stop the prowling evil in his town. That produces some kind of momentum to the story, and adds up to the element of suspense.

There are flaws such as: 1.) Jude's abrupt 'recovery' from his neurotic bordering-to-psychotic paranoia; 2.) Nathan's mom, Rachel, seems to have easily grasped the real identity of Jude, and, 3.) when Nathan is kidnapped, she isn't too hysterical, untypical for a mother.

There are loose ends too such as: 1.) what happened to Jude's ailing dad in the end; 2.) Kristina's sudden appearance, and, toward the end, her abrupt disappearance. Clearly, she is not a normal human being; 2.) the mystery surrounding Jude's life is not revealed. Perhaps his resurrections are for a reason yet unknown, but to be revealed at the right moment in time.

I like the storyline-- it's practically the reason why I picked this book up from the shelf and purchased it. The suspense is properly built toward the ending. T. L. Hines does a great job of laying false trails leading to the identity of the killer. Truthfully, I had to sludge through the first few pages of this book, forcing myself to keep on reading. But as the suspense builds up, I practically rampaged the pages! For a debut novel, T. L. Hines surely did great. Waking Lazarus is a gripping thriller worthy of a place on my bookshelf. (;

Rating: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

Interesting words: liver mortis, rigor mortis

What my Girlfriend Doesn't Know by Sonya Sones
Format: Mass Market Paperback, 304 pages
Publisher: Simon Pulse, Simon & Schuster, New York
ISBN: 978-0-689-87603-5
With Film Version? I wish..
Number of Times Read: so many times, i lost count! (x
 

The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Format: Mass Market Paperback, 232 pages
Publisher: Pocket Books and Design
ISBN: 978-1-84739-407-1
With Film Version? Soooon (check out the news video at the bottom of the post)
Number of Times Read: 2x

I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day.. Or wondering who did the heartbreaking and wondering why......

... Patrick then said something I don't think I'll ever forget.

"He's a wallflower."

And Bob really nodded his head. And the whole room nodded their head. And I started to feel nervous but Patrick never let me get too nervous. He sat down next to me.

"You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand."
(Excerpt from the novel)


Charlie is this fifteen-year-old boy who is shy, introspective, intelligent beyond his years, and extremely emotional. He tells his story through a series of letters addressed to a 'friend' he does not know, and who doesn't know him either, for anonymity. He attempts to navigate his way through uncharted territory-- his struggles with his mental illness, making friends AND finding best friends, girls, the world of sex, first love, first dates and mixed tapes, the feeling of being treated like an adult, and all that stuff.

....
Had I discovered this book in my awkward freshman high school days, I would have been able to relate, but now that I'm a crazy, adventurous teenager in her 20s, all I could do is reminisce. What happened those days certainly were the most innocent and awkward moments I ever had! In his awkward shyness, Charlie is really lucky to find two best friends-- Sam and Patrick-- they are a mixture of fun-and-seriousness, they are the kind of friends who know how to have fun and at the same time could wiggle out a good piece of advice when the going gets tough.  And boy was it really tough for Charlie! I would have to mention that his childhood friend Michael committed suicide in 6th grade and his favorite aunt, Aunt Helen died in a car accident when he was younger. And there's more but I don't want to spoil it to readers!


The curious thing mentioned in the novel is the 'brownie' that was given to Charlie by his new found friend Bill. I was debating with myself whether it was a pot brownie or brownie with LSD. I did a little research and I guess, it was pot, because when Charlie ate it, he was high and he just saw lights. With LSD, seeing lights isn't the main thing, you see weird stuff like purple elephants, or feel things that aren't there. I learned that the other term for pot brownie is "space brownie". And brownie with LSD is called "magic brownie". Kinda cool, huh? I'm just being informative here. I was really curious because I've never done drugs. The most creative and cutesy teenage rebel experiment I ever done are Jell-O shots. I love the strawberry flavored ones! But I'm not gonna dwell on that now.


So.. The main thing about this story is that Charlie is caught between trying to live his life and trying to run from it. He is introspective, he thinks too much, too preoccupied to participate in society. Instead, he sees things, watches, observes, is intuitive and so he understands what he sees. When told not to say anything about something, he obliges. When told not to do something, he nods his head yes. Which really cripples his ability to decide on his own. Which is not good because even if he knows that something doesn't fit well, he just keeps quiet. With that, he isn't being honest with himself, and to other people.

We've all been there, or most of us anyway. Sometimes, we would observe everything and everyone around us, and we ask why is this and why is that and not getting a satisfactory answer back. Sometimes we just wanna run away from everything and forget. The thing is, we have to stop asking WHY because no one or nothing in this world can give us the right answer. So why worry about the unanswerables? (Is that even a word? But I hope you understand what I'm trying to point out.. ) The thing is, we have to live. No matter what. Why else are we living and breathing and blogging or reading or whatever it is that we're doing every minute of the day..? The thing is, we don't stop living just because something happens. The thing is, nothing in this world can stop the world from turning. The thing is, no matter what, no matter how hard, no matter how life sucks, we still have to participate. Believe me or not, everything we do in life has this domino effect. We start a few series of disaster, and it will go on and on until somebody is smart enough to stop the cascade. We start a few series of happiness, and it will go on and go on, and we should be smart enough not to stop it, we should be smart enough to do whatever it takes for the dominoes of happiness to go on and on. I know this is an impossible feat but maybe, just maybe, we can go as far as the 'almost' impossible.. Sometimes there are things we can't do anything about but even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from where.

The passage in the novel I so loved is this: “I feel infinite.” And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spend, and we felt young in a good way.” Infinity. I envy Sam, Patrick and Charlie on their moment of infinity. While I know that we are humans, finite and mortal, sometimes I just want to discover a momentum where I feel even for just one second the feeling of everlasting, infinite, eternal, perpetual. And I'm not talking about getting high! (;


The great news:  a movie is being made out of this one and it's scheduled to come out next year. I just hope they don't mess it up because it's a known fact that film adaptations ruin the original stories big-fucking-time. Maybe not this one, because Stephen Chbosky himself is directing. (;

Adjectives: Cool. Asteeg! (;
You Might Also Like: The Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger

Buy or Borrow: WTH. Of course, BUY again! (;

Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson

the film version (;

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
Format: Hardcover, 330 pages
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
ISBN: 0-316-66634-3
With Film Version? Yes
Number of Times Read: 5x 


I thought it was the worst thing in the world to be lying flat on my back with a sweating man on top of me.... He was inside me. He was grunting.... I was the mortar. He was the pestle.... He had done this thing to me and I had lived. That was all.... I was still breathing. I knew he was killing me.... I did not realize then that I was already an animal dying.... "Tell me you love me", he said. Gently, I did. The end came anyway.... (Excerpt from the novel)


By now you would be thinking that The Lovely Bones is a blood-and-gore novel. It is so not! The excerpt appearing above are the only garish statements you could find inside the book. I promise that's all there is to it. All you have to do is stare at the front cover and you would know that it is a normal novel.


Except that it isn't.

In the novel, Susie Salmon is the narrator and, as she looks down from her heaven, she recounts how, at fourteen, she was raped and brutally murdered by their neighbor, Mr. Harvey. She sees how her family slowly falls apart and she can't do anything about it. How her strong Daddy is transformed into the fragile father of a daughter and a son who tried to be brave for him.. How brave the facade her sister Lindsey displays while deep inside she's shouting, "Susie, Susie, Susie..." How her Mom can't cope with her grief she has to find herself somewhere outside their home.. How little Buckley's heart gradually turns into stone as Susie's loss slowly takes place in their home and remains like mold growing on wine barrel..

And then there's Ray Singh-- Susie's only love. How he struggles to forget her. To erase her from his thoughts because he has to accept that what could have been between him and Susie would forever never be..


And Ruth. Who wants to tell everyone what she knew-- that the ghosts of the departed are nearby, watching their loved ones.. That they are part of the oxygen we are breathing.. Ruth.. Who learned to love Susie and paved the way for a miracle to occur..


All throughout the novel, I smiled, cried, laughed, laughed out loud, cried again, grimaced, was awed, smiled again then cried again and again.. I'm warning you, there will be a lot of uncontrollable sobs, how many times? I lost count! I swear I even bawled when I reached the most emotional passage, so prepare your tissues.


Susie's family's loss is just the hardest ordeal a family could face. Thankfully I never had to deal with that kind of loss. Yes, we had a few deaths in the family but none of these deaths were of the violent nature, just the normal process, like irreversible illness and old age. I'm glad I never had to feel their pain, their loss, their constant struggle to survive, dreading how each day they had to face that their Susie is gone forever.. How indeed are you supposed to go on living, when everywhere, you see that everyone around you, including yourself, are alive, and your daughter/ sister/ friend's corpse is lying in some unknown place, undiscovered? How, knowing that out there, your daughter's/ sister's/ friend's killer is still lurking? The crime might be solved, the suspect may be caught. But after all these? Nothing will ever be the same again. The victim would never be restored, the relationships destroyed, the events forever in the hearts of the people involved.

Alice Sebold managed to turn a tale of horror into a tale of humor and vibrant hope. You would know what I mean once Susie started talking and sharing how awful her death was but still, as her Dad would say, had a lot of spunk. In the novel, she had followed her family and friends, everyone she had on Earth and, at some point, had to make a difficult choice.

The Lovely Bones, as a whole, is a story of lives intertwined, of love, of hope, of joy and of heaven, the horror set aside.


Heaven: I like that Alice Sebold presented a new concept of heaven: that everyone dead has his own concept of heaven. Assuming that is true then I'd like to imagine my heaven as this:

perpetually cloudy afternoons,
a room full of every bestselling book imaginable,
the fastest internet connection,
pop, country and alternative rock music on the background,
and the largest collection of polka dot and floral dresses! 

I almost included all the people I love but wouldn't that be too selfish?
How about you? What is your version of heaven? ((:

Lost by Joy Fielding
Format: Hardcover, 384 pages
Publisher: Atria Books
ISBN: 0-7434-4629-1
With Film Version? I wish..(;
Number of Times Read: 1x

"Mothers of just sons," her own mother had once told her. "They're a different breed. They have no idea."  

These words just about summarizes what Cindy Carver has to endure about raising her daughters-- twenty one year-old Julia, and nineteen year-old Heather. With nice-and-sweet Heather, there were no major problems.  Julia was quite another story-- stubborn and self absorbed, she gave her mother a constant headache. Julia, charming in her own way, received more attention, and acted more unreasonable as she grew older. Infant Julia, always starting a ruckus. Toddler Julia envious of her little sister Heather. Adult Julia, never forgiving her mother for giving birth of Heather. Four year-old Julia vanishing from the playground triggering motherly paranoia. Fourteen year-old Julia moving in with her father, and lived with him for 7 years, breaking her mother's heart. And, twenty-one year-old Julia, after a promising audition, disappearing without a trace, the final blow to Cindy's tormented heart.