.....

Adieu

Tuesday, May 20, 2014 § 2

Like all other things, this blog came about for a particular purpose and that purpose was akin to love-- that most popular but most misunderstood word. But overtime, it has evolved into this different kind of love, as in tennis-- zero, null, void.
And so adieu. This blog has served its purpose.

Letter to the one who got away. Or something to that effect.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014 § 2

Dear Ex,

I probably shouldn't be doing this but I can't help it. I tend to break my own rules.

I'm sorry that i am barging into your virtual space but I am not sorry about what I told you last time because I know and you know that most of it is true and the rest you clearly deserve. I admit that some are mad drivelings of a raging woman. Cheap shots and whatnot so I don't expect you to forgive that easily. And I know for a fact that men are an unforgiving lot. Something to do with your ego. Women forgive easily but rarely forget. So yes, I am no longer mad at you. Can't stay mad for too long. In one dimension out of too many, everything you did are justified. I accept that. After all, however cliche' it may sound, the truth did set me free. Some genius wrote that one way or another, we are judge, counsel, victim, and accused all at the same time. In short, I, too, was at fault, one way or another.

I'm sorry it had to end that way.

But enough of that. I am not a cold-hearted bitch. Happy Birthday. Be safe.

From your Ex, like, Forever

Blove, anyone? ? (Blogger + Love)

Tuesday, December 10, 2013 § 2


It's a 'cybersoul' thing, to quote Sophie of some-book-I-wrote-a-review-for.

So, I met this guy through blogging a long time ago-- thirty months to be exact. And until now, I don't know what his real name is, because he goes under a pseudonym, but I call him Robin. He calls me Sophie, sometimes, Sophia. It all started when I wrote a review for some book, and Robin and Sophie are all but fictional characters of said book. I refuse to call it a novel because though it is a story of two humans, it wasn't complex and long (whatever that means). Because of its format, it looks more like a collection of poems that formed a story. I digressed. That's when it started. And how? He commented and I commented back and before I realized it, my comments box resembled a chat box. It's cliche to say this but we really hit off right then and there.

To cut the story short, and that was months after I stalked Robin's blog and read all of his posts, we started textingHe writes well and I am a goner for guys who can write well. He calls me a name that is not my own and I call him another, not his own either. I love the mystery of that! We don't know each others' real names. I don't know what he looks like. He's not fat because I'm sure he is telling the truth. Not that I have issues with other people's body weight. To put it bluntly, I have a lot of friends who are leaning towards the heavy side, but I never got attracted to one from the opposite sex. Again, I digress. He turned 29 last August making me fifty-one months and sixteen days younger than him. He lives in San Juan City which is less than thirty minutes away from Quezon City, and four hours away from Pangasinan, and six hours away from Baguio. If you travel by land, and, of course it takes longer than that if traffic is heavy, which is always the case in Metro Manila, especially in EDSA, but I don't have to take that route. I want to meet up with him and he does, too. I want to because, heck, he could be the One! Every time I talk to him, he seems a decent enough conversationalist. He sounds smart and very opinionated. He can also write, though most of his prose are on the horny side, but that is easily overlooked because he's funny (both in talking and writing) though he doesn't seem to realize it, which is good because once guys work that out, their jokes become stale and, well, not funny anymore because they begin overdoing it. Well. That's about it. I know nothing more about him. And I don't really care what he looks like. I never go for looks. I go straight for the brain. Brain salad is good, by the way.(Hi, Splice, my blogger crush, if you're reading this.:D)


Yeah, I like brainy guys who can write decently enough. Smart conversations and writings are big turn-ons for a girl like me. Sadly, M never showed the slightest sign that he could write. However much rewarding it would be to arrange a rendezvous with Robin, I'm afraid. I don't-- never did this kind of thing, this meeting with random strangers. Maybe not so random, but still it's weird, it's something my Mom would always warn me about, I'm not supposed to talk to strangers let alone meet up with them, but, hey, the taboo-ness of it makes it even more alluring to do the act. No, I think I'm afraid not because it is something forbidden. I'm afraid because I think I like him too much and I know that's a very stupid thing to say because I dont know the vital details about him any more than he knows me but it makes me wonder because if what I'm feeling is true, then the way a person looks like doesn't make them attractive any more than the way they express themselves. I can then safely infer that blind people also fall in love.


Also, I'm afraid because I think I might still be in love with M and if I really like Robin, I will have to give him (M) up and I don't think I'm ready for that. Because, heck, I am STILL in love with him. Not that I don't want it. I clued him in about how I am planning to meet up with this guy and, I realized that, sometimes, even the smartest guys say the dumbest things. He said, Just because someone can write or whatever, doesn't necessarily make him attractive. That makes you pretty shallow getting attracted to some guy you barely know, which brands me as someone easy... Ow, That stung. Talk about dumb. It's not like I'm sleeping with the guy on first meeting, for goddamn's sake. I am NOT easy. He's just jealous. And, I know, rightfully so.


I have every reason to be afraid, really. Risk-taker that I am, I realize I wouldn't go that far. He could be a psychopath or a sex-crazed maniac or a really fat guy (okay, I AM prejudiced!) or a escaped convict or goddamn gay or someone I already know. That last bit is very scary. Scary because I just might throttle him for making a fool out of me!


I know I worry and think too much. Heck, one of these days my curiosity might win out I will just throw caution with the wind and get this all over with.