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sakey ed sikara

Thursday, January 19, 2012 § 13

dear d.,

hindi ko din akalain na hahantong sa ganito. parang kailan lang, magka-holding hands tayong naglalakad sa downtown. alam mo ba, Miss na kita sobra. sana di na lang tayo nag-break noh? sana di na lang ako nakipagbreak sayo. ikaw naman kasi, ang arte mo. may mga nalalaman ka pang 'naguguluhan ako'. agaylatan met. what did you expect di ba? Ako nga, nagulo buhay ko dahil sa'yo.

never kong pinagtapat sayo ito, pero alam mo ba, i was never the same after us. pwede kong sabihin na after all the shit i've been through, i'm a lot wiseR now. pero hindi ee, kasi nakakabobo talaga yung mga nangyari. ayoko ng maging dagdag pasakit sa mga problema mo. ayokong pasanin mo ako. pero alam mo ba? pasan kita. siguro, kahit ilang lalaki pa ang lumuhod sa harapan ko ngayon, Titingala pa din ako at mukha mo lang ang makikita ko. kahit sa iba ka pa nakatingin.. alam kong sa iba ka na nakatingin. di ba?

hindi ko naman hinihiling na sana hindi na lang naging tayo. mali ee. kasi naging mahalagang parte ka na din ng buhay ko. siguro, even if I come down with a severe case of amnesia, i'll never forget those months with you. kung sinuman ang maswerteng mamahalin mo pagkatapos ko, sana hindi ka na maguluhan. you should know by Now that you don't figure love out. you simply just fall. pero alam mo ba? part yan ng charm mo.. yung nagtatanong.. yung nagtataka.. oo, ganun ka. kaya nga inaro takan maong.. pero hindi lang 'yun ang rason. at hindi na kailangang sabihin pa dahil hindi mo na kailangang alamin. dahil alam kong ayaw mo nang alamin.

all my friends told me to ditch you. and so i did. kaya nga kahit ilang beses kang tumawag dati, hindi mo ako ma-reach dahil nagpalit na ako ng number. at nung nalaman mo yung new number ko, nasa reject list ang number mo. at pagkatapos ng lahat ng yun.. in-Entertain din lang kita. nakakalito ba?

Masyado akong insecure, masyadong selosa. bakit ba? ganun ka din naman ah! oo, I still want you pero ansaki-sakit lan maong.  dahil hindi na kita maramdaman. dahil alam kong hindi ka na seryoso tulad ng dati. ego boosters na lang yang mga ginagawa mo.

haha. what did i expect, di ba? haay.

Masaya ka ba sa tuwing di ko natitiis ilapit ang phone sa mukha ko? sa tuwing kinukuwento ko ba sayo ang Araw ko, iniisip mo ba na sana kasama ka dun? haay. ngayon, namamahalan ka siguro sa minute calls na iniuukol mo dati sa akin. nasasayangan ka na siguro sa pamasahe mo papunta sa kung nasaan man ako.

Nakakatawa. nakaka-amaze. how easily attraction came and went. Unfair lang kasi inunahan mo na ako. o siguro, tinamaan lang ako ng husto sa'yo. ang galing mo lang kasi. ikaw na! kung makaingles ka, akala mo male version ni kris aquino. kung makipagtalo ka, akala mo male version ni meriam
 dEfensor santiago. ang corny Lang pero totoo naman. seryoso. siguro kung mababasa mo To, hahagalpak ka sa kakatawa. at iiral na naman ang kayabangan mo.

pero wala yan sa'kin. dahil mas masakit na hirap na akong tumawa. yUng totoong tawa? kasi alam ko darating na ang panahon na hindi mo na ako maaalala pa. o siguro nga dumating na. mas maganda siguro na ganito. na hindi na tayo nagkikita at nag-uusap. para san pa, di ba? kahit siguro magkaroon ng Chance na maging tayo ulit, hindi na ako pupusta pa. you can rest assured na hindi mo na ako makikita pa.

mag-iingat ka Ah? kasi inaro takan maong.. anggano amtak.. Ya sakey ak labat ed sikara..

nagmamahal,
super p.

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§ 13 Response to “sakey ed sikara”

  • awww, can totally relate. ganun din 'kami' ngayon. all those tinitiis-siya moments will all come to waste the moment he confesses through phone with matching sucky/adorable Canadian slang that he still loves you. tapos, he'll tell you to wait for him pero di naman kayo nag uusap after noon. wah. ang gulo.

    this too shall pass. :|

  • Nag-change URL ka pala. :) Sinundan kita hanggang dito.

    Isang sad ending naman. ganyan lang talaga siguro ang buhay. May aalis, may darating. Pero naniniwala ako na mas makakabuti sayo ang taong darating. Maghintay ka lang...

  • Sey says:

    Hay! I can feel you. I've been there, yung tiping kahit anong gawin mo siya pa din mahal mo pero sa awa ng Diyos, nakaligtas naman ako.

    Someday you'll understand why things like that have to happen.

    Katwiran ko din dati "pag niloko mo ako, you'll never see me again". hehehe which I did. Hindi talaga ako nagpakita. Pero ngayon, I don't care anymore. Pag nakita niya ako, dedma lang. Hehehe.

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  • I remember when I broke up with my boyfriend, I wrote a letter to him every fucking day on my BB's notepad. Words that I want to tell him, but never had the courage to send to him. Now that I saw this, I'm thinking of posting all those letters on my blog. LOLZ. Update: were together again after that drift. How about you guys? :)

  • kae says:

    as of now, no. we're both single.
    i dunno about him, but i guess i'm still trying to work him out of my system. until then, i'll never be ready for a new love. a part of me continues to hope. a larger part just wants to bloody move on.

    im glad you guys got back together. cheers!:)