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Dahil Alam Ko Na.
Sunday, August 11, 2013 § 2
Ang weird lang. Sometimes, nothing makes sense and then all of a sudden, you find all the answers to the questions. Minsan, gusto ko nang itigil, kumawala. Nakaksira ng bait kapag biglaang nangyayari yung mga nearly impossible things na gusto mo, yung mga bagay na ni-give up mo na, yung akala mo wala nang pag-asa? Ang weird lang ng mga twists ng buhay. Nagkataon lang ba ang lahat ng pangyayari? Is it chance or accident? Are they the same and one? Hindi ko naman akalain na hahantong sa ganito. Mahal kita, hindi ako tumigil. Kahit na minsan, hindi ako tumigil. May mga iba, pero wala lang yung mga yun. Of course, I felt guilty-- still feel guilty. Nakakapanghinayang. Dahil sa kagustuhan kong maka-get-over sa'yo, marami akong nasaktang ibang tao. To be precise, dalawa sila. I feel remorse. I feel guilt. But most of all, I feel dirty. It's time to grow up, and drop all pretense, it's time to drop the license of stupidity and desperation. I tried, really na kalimutan ka, but it's all out of my control. Puso ko ang kinalaban ko at na-realize kong hindi ako mananalo dahil ayaw ko mang tanggapin, ito lang ang gusto namin: ang mahalin ka, mahalin ka, at mahalin ka. Ikaw ang tanging lalaking kinahuhumalingan ko at hindi na ako magpipigil dahil ayoko ng masaktan, makasakit. Ayoko ng masaktan ka. I realized the first time I saw you, my heart is no longer mine. It's yours to keep, and from now on, I will do it's every bidding. It's a great risk to take but it's worth damn much. Mahal kita, hindi ako tumigil. Walang iba, ikaw lang. Ngayon, heto na ko sa harapan mo. Hindi na ako matatalo because this time, puso ko na ang ipupusta ko. Nothing else matters because nothing else has ever been this clear to me.

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