solipsistic drivelings.

I seem to be having a lot of free time lately. That's partly due to my being a social recluse-- I rarely go out nowadays. The weather is just too humid and hot for me to go out. I'm tired of parties and getting drunk, and meeting and dating random jerks. god, they seem to be growing in numbers. Horrible, isn't it?

So to occupy my free time, I do the easiest and the best thing you have access to when you are alone: think. I think about my life in general, as it is right now, and all the little nuances you usually think about when there is nothing else you wanna do. These are my thoughts:

• Here I am, in 2013, withhalf of the year gone, still single as fuck. I'm supposed to be with someone right now doing something else, instead of doing this thinking alone.
• My folks are getting impatient-- they are PNG-ing my ass out of the country, want me to work it off, fulfill the mother's profession of choice. What else can I do, aside from keeping my present job, to avoid having to work abroad?
• I'm tired of taking calls. I can't imagine my self still taking calls in the next few weeks. God. Nobody told me this call center thing sucks. Like BIGTIME.
• What am I living this life for, this mundane existence? What are my accomplishments? I have done things in the past that can be tagged as above average, but nothing exceptional, or phenomenal.
• I admit, I miss working in the hospital. Nothing is more fulfilling than taking good care of the precious life that has been entrusted to you. A life in your hands. Very humanitarian, but this is the truth: I miss being a nurse.
• Bills. When I decided to part ways from my folks, and live all by myself, nobody told me that there would be a lot of bills to pay for. Damn. I am so tired of bills!
• I miss my ex. Not the most recent, but the one before that. Yeah.
• When will I muster the courage to talk to my crush?? He's soooo cute. And he looks a lot like my ex. Yes, I never learn.
• Oh, God, I am soooo alone.