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Letter to the Opposite Sex

Thursday, May 02, 2013 § 7

Dear Opposite Sex,

I know nothing, absolutely nothing, about you, except for the fckng fact that you seduce me (and that's what you tried to do to me again earlier), then drop me like a hot potato into your yawning abyss. Why are you so cruel? I hate you for making me hope, wish, love, and, in the end, making me feel despaired, embarrassed and disillusioned.

I detest you, but I am attracted to you. Who else am I supposed to hook up with, the same sex? I can't even contemplate the idea. Nor do I have any notions of choosing a life of spinsterhood. Or worse, having relations with something outside our species. So no matter how many times you screw me up, I will always be drawn to your kind (duh, like I have any other choice). Because I am an all-woman, all-straight daughter of Eve.

Well, I admit you aren't all that bad, that sometimes, or most of the time, it is my fault. But you can't blame me for PMS-ing. Yeah. That's my excuse. What's yours?

This is not the end. I'm sure, in the next days, weeks, months, I'll fall in love with someone of your kind again, get hurt again, fall in love again, get fckd up all over again, but i'll be very, very patient. Soon, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed, the cycle will start draining, and I will finally settle down with someone of your kind.

But for now, in the light of all the heartaches, the shams of falling in love, I raise both my fingers to you.

Go, fuck yourself.

With my utmost sincerity,
Kae

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§ 7 Response to “Letter to the Opposite Sex”

  • Splice says:

    Dear Kae,

    As much as I -- a nondescript, non-entity -- would like to speak on behalf of the "members of the opposite sex," it would be pointless; we come in shapes and sizes, oftentimes literally. So let me just say that we, too, know nothing, or little, about ourselves, just like you know nothing, "absolutely nothing," about us. We seduce, that is true, but more often than not we seduce because we feel macho and all that shit, not necessarily because we want to offer our heart. But be patient. Again, we come in shapes and sizes. Like you, some of us -- a few of us -- are also out there, braving a world so cruel, just to find the one we sure as hell would like to spend the rest of our lives with. This dying species of the "opposite sex" also gets fucked up in life just like you, unbelievable it may seem. I reckon this tragedy has nothing to do with sex or gender at all. I reckon it has something to do with proximity; we only search within our comfort zones.

    So here's to life, the opposite sex, the shams of falling in love -- everything and everyone can fuck themselves.


    Without remorse,

    Splice

  • kae says:

    Dear Splice,

    Thank you for taking the time to leave your thoughts. Oh God everyone in this world gets fucked up. That's just so, so horrible. So nice to know you get fucked up as well. LOL. Just to let you know, I recently got fucked up by some neanderthal. So sorry to take it up on y'all.
    Just to let you know, I LOVE MEN. Especially the evolved ones.

    Love,
    Kae

  • SPLICE says:

    Ah, Neanderthal. Some men need catching-up on evolution. Not that I don't need one myself. I'm not god hah!

  • Golda says:

    very well said Kae! hahaaahha.. so kelan ka uwi???

  • Anonymous says:

    Shot na! Hahaha...

  • Some guys are just plain jerks. How could you explain men who ask you out and they get married or engaged months after with their long-term partners? Just shaking off the jitters and getting the assurance that they are indeed making the right decision? Pft. Good thing I did not date them.

    But once you met that someone, I dunno. You just become... more hardworking. And bratty.

  • Oh, men. Why can't we live without them?!

    Hope he'll find you soon...