five minutes

Tuesday, July 26, 2011 § 25

Red light!

So how many minutes am I gonna wait? I'm stuck in here but I am in no hurry. A minute? Three? Fifteen? I hope not. I am in no hurry but I'm sitting here all alone, feeling volumes of blood being pumped by my heart on my normal hypotensive state. It sucks to wait.

My window is open. It's the middle of the day. There is no cool breeze. I am not closing the window.

There's a beggar approaching. What's that he's holding? A sign that says he's homeless? Oh, I see. It says he asks for a few coins. I gaze at him. I am not closing the window.

Neither am I scrounging for spare change.

Eventually, he moves along. I follow him with my gaze. He rummages through his breast pocket. What is in there? Oh, a pack of Marlboro Green and a lighter. One of those sophisticated, personalized lighters I am dying to get for myself. How the hell did he get one for himself?

I think I need a smoke. It's a great way to kill time. Nasty habit of mine. I'm getting rid of it. From a pack, to half a pack, to five sticks per day. Not bad.

I've read somewhere that carbon monoxide, once inhaled, never gets exhaled. It attaches to the hemoglobin molecules that normally carry oxygen. As a result, oxygen becomes scarce. Nursing Diagnosis: DOB or difficulty of breathing. Everyone knows that cigarette smoking has been linked to lung diseases, including lung cancer.

Ugh. That's my brain working overtime. And to hell with lung cancer. To me, smoking provides some inward satisfaction.

To the left, I can hear a siren. The cars move to the side to give passage to the wailing ambulance. In between the curtains, I glimpse a man in uniform, a medic, resuscitating the guy lying on the cot. I wonder who that guy is? Is he married? Does he have kids? Where does he work? What happened to him? A cardiac arrest, maybe? Is he going to be a DOA* case? I hope not.

Oh, there's a good song. I'm bobbing my head up and down to the beat. What's the title of this song? I remember the music video. It's of five monkeys and... No, six, actually. Six monkeys whistling and bobbing their head up and down after every beat. What's the title? Lazy something. I don't feel lazy at all. Just bored. But I love this song. I like good songs during a drive, other people don't.

I can still barely hear the wailing siren. That guy lying on the cot. He must have had a heart attack.

There's a seminar I attended a few months ago. The speaker said that cardiovascular diseases** are on the top list of serial killers in the world. Millions die every year because of these diseases.

According to the FBI Handbook, a serial killer is someone who has murdered more than four people over a period of time, each killing taking place one after another, like an old-fashioned newspaper serial, which is how the term came to be coined.***

So heart diseases are on the top list of serial killers in the world. Am I supposed to be more afraid of eating French fries and other fast (and fatty) food junk than of a psychopath? Rubbish. I am going to eat French fries for as long as I live even if that means the unhealthy fats are slowly clogging up my arteries. It will take years, or decades, before my oxygenated blood wouldn't be able to pass through the clogged arteries.

Ten years. That's a long time and dying is inevitable. French fries is tasty and makes me salivate. Though it tastes funny every time I smoke. But it's better to die eating French fries or smoking Lights than not at all.

Really, I prefer a slow death caused by French fries or cigarettes, over an imminent one, like, when a psychopath rapes me and stabs me to death or when a crazed gunman busts my brains out.

The truck driver behind me honks his horn. On my side mirror, I give him the finger. Dark shades, long, dark, greasy hair, and a mustache. Could be a psychopath or a crazed gunman. Or both.

Oh, shoot.

Green light!

* DOA = dead on arrival
** The layman's term for cardiovascular diseases is diseases of the heart and blood vessels.
*** as defined in the book The World's Greatest Serial Killers, by Nigel Cawthorne

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§ 25 Response to “five minutes”

  • ay OK to yung about sa serial killer. Dagdag info. Nagsesearch din ako about dyan, kadalasan daw ng mga killer e may psycho illness.

  • SO you smoke? Too bad. :) It's okay, you'll be fine. Anyways, I smoked two sticks the other night. Will I die tow years earlier? I don't want to smoke again. Karen. I like your name. It's cool. Parang sa Mcdo lang.

  • I'm smoker and tryng to quite and I want to be a serial killer...lol

    love this post:)

  • mayen says:

    This is a great post. I learned something about serial killers. I too would rather die of heart attack than be raped or shot.

  • kayren says:

    @monik: if you are doing a research about serial killers, then you should read the book 'the world's greatest serial killers'. i bought my copy sa national bookstore. its a gruesomely entertaining read.(; and it's where i copied FBI's definition of serial killer.(;

    @ryan: really.. thanks.. though it's rather common. andami kong kapangalan.(x

    @sunny: thanks! and why in god's name would you wanna be a serial killer??(;

  • kayren says:

    @mayen: thanks..(; yeah. at least matagal-tagal pa bago ka matigok because of french fries! eh yung sa serial killer, biglaan!(;

  • What an interesting post Kayren! You're brain is def working overtime, na isip mo lahat ito while waiting for the lights to turn green... good to hear you've lessen the cigs to five a day from a whole pack =)

  • Anonymous says:

    So you smoke? Hmmm.. Ako, I've tried dati nung college ako. I didn't like it. hehe.. Pero sabi nga nila, may ibang hatid na ligaya yung smoking..

    My Dad's a smoker. Ilang stick ata nauubos nya in a day. We've tried telling him to stop na, pero wala eh.. :(

    whoa. Rewind. French fries clog up arteries? Di ko alam yun ah. Hala!!

  • waiting at red lights is quite annoying! even to the person who isn't driving but is the passenger.
    once i saw a beggar boy taking out an mp3 from his pocket and plugging in his headphones and listening to music till the next red light.
    i won't be the conventional goody-two-shoes commenter and say that smoking is bad and to stay away from it. my parents smoke too, but with the health hazards it also brings along a small amount of ease to stress/tension. which is why i do not frown upon the act as much as certain people do. i tried smoking as well! it didn't taste bad or anything but i don't have a need or urge to do it, so i don't.
    the thought of serial killers lurking around is scary! i would prefer death by yummy food rather than being stabbed or something :O
    this was a great post. my mind is almost always blank during car rides :P

  • krn says:

    kayren! i couldn't read your post, your lil blue birdie was blocking the view! lol hehe kidding. :) you smoke pala. my lola who is a smoker believes that smoking is good for the health. sabi niya para daw maalis yung mga something-something sa katawan by means of exhaling cig. hehe nashare ko lang.

  • This comment has been removed by the author.
  • I love your posts when they appear. Blue birdie sat on the head of your photo for a while, too.

    Don't smoke. Eat the fries. I need the good writers to stay.

  • kayren says:

    @kalokang pinay: thanks..(; actually, there's a lot more going on inside my mind lol. yeah im doin pretty good (;

    @leah: my dad smoked quite a lot when he was still alive. hehe. hmm, its the unhealthy fats that's gonna clog up the arteries, not french fries itself hehe.. (im just teasin ya!)

    @furree: you're righttt..
    wth. i bet that beggar's headphone set is much more sophisticated than mine.
    yeah really scaaaary, but they're out there..
    my point exactly, its better to die slowly than abruptly.. lol.. thank youuu (;

    @krn: really... ahaha. so the smoke sorta acts like a vehicle para matanggal yung toxins sa katawan? i hope that's true..
    ill start smoking 2 or more packs/day ahaha

    @blogwriter: oh thank youu!!
    im thinking of gettin rid of that tiresome twitter bird but i just can't cus its too cute!! & i dont even have a twitter acct! hehe

  • i thought this is a fiction, hahaha. but as i continue readig i realized that it is somewhat true. talga nagsmoke ka pala. hehe. uhmmmmm parang ang init ng ulo mo dito chill. hehehe
    panakaw ng pics. hindi ako mapipigilan ng no right click code. hehe. salamat ^_^

  • kayren says:

    something you ought to know: i suck at fiction..(; and i wasnt hotheaded nung tinatype ko mga toh. bored lang. lels.
    ahahay how do you manage to do that??? arghhh (x

  • stop na kasi ang yosi :)

  • Sey says:

    I remember the conversation I had with my former CAT instructor about smoking. He said smoking is bad for our health but he is smoking. so I asked him why the heck he's smoking if he already knew the consequence and he said, "If you smoke you'll die, and if you don't smoke, you'll die also, so I'd better smoke".

    Your mind is rushing things I guess. With a span of minutes you're able to come up with a good post for eveybody. Try to relax.

  • kayren says:

    @sey: "If you smoke you'll die, and if you don't smoke, you'll die also, so I'd better smoke". my point exactly.(;

    thanks. i was just bored. really.(;

  • I tried smoking last week. And I choked=D

    Nice Blog. Followed=D

  • You drive and you smoke. Two things which I don't do, but I would like to drive anyway. I have friends who smoke and they always stay away from me when they do. Haha. :)

    You don't suck at fiction! It was a great read. Really. Parang page 1 lang ng libro. If you get published someday, I'm going to have it with your siggie.

    At I like the intro and ending. Red light and green light. With colors. Hehe. Definitely creative.

  • Anonymous says:

    I loved this post! :)
    Big deal...smoke your way to glory but you've got talent...so try not to end up like George Harrison. I love the dude. But he's gone. He could be singing now. hmm...

    I thought the green light was someone performing the 'avade kedavra' curse..hmm...stupid me. lol.

  • mayen says:

    hi karen, i hope you can read this. Will you be so kind and guest post on my blog for August or September? kahit anong topic lang. book review or anything informative and fun at the same time. well, kahit anong gusto mong isulat. email mo ako kung ok lang sayo. please mayenclickscuts@gmail.com. let me know.

  • kayren says:

    @hamza: thanks.(;

    @miss chievous: what good friends you have!(;
    hm, really i suck at fiction. everything i write here are true.hehe.. thanks though. really..

    @V: thank u!! haha, that cracked me up! well am not voldemort to perform the avada curse.(;

    @mayen: aww mayen. what an honor. for you, i will.. but please bear with me, i got the writer's block. i cant seem to write about anything sensible lately pero i'll try, okhey? i will do it pero i cant tell when. but i will really try na makapagsulat ng anything within this month and the next.. but really, do i deserve such honor? kakhiya, im afraid ill bore your readers hehe (;

  • Charles says:

    apparently waiting makes you think and puffing a cig removes that burden LOL

  • kayren says:

    @charles: no one couldve said that better than ya (;